I'd like to take just a couple minutes and discuss something that I have GREAT knowledge and experience in...air travel. Yesterday while sitting in my seat waiting for my plane to leave the GREAT city of Omaha (little sarcasm) I had thought after thought swirling through my mind...here are a few....
(In the interest of full disclosure, I make these observations of people who are, clearly, frequent flyers. I can understand that people who rarely fly wouldn't know better).
First of all, I saw you with my own two eyes sitting in that airport terminal, waiting to board the plane. So, may I offer you this tip. Figure out what papers, books, computers, games, magazines, phones, etc. you are going to want to have with you in your seat when the plane is in the air. Two weeks ago, while boarding a plane in Utah, the woman who was my seat mate held up the entire boarding process because she stood in the aisle, digging through stacks of papers and envelopes, pulling them out so she could "work" on the flight. Needless to say that when she finally got settled, she went to sleep and then was angry she missed her complimentary beverage.
Next, I watched you put your coat on when you got up to board the plane. Now, why are you taking it off again, (holding up the boarding process, yet again)? God gave you two arms, carry your coat. You WILL NOT suffer from hypothermia while standing on the jet bridge. On the reverse end of that, Do you think you are standing in the middle of an open field when you get up to put your coat on after the plane lands? Ahhh...no. There are people, people's faces inches from you, and you twirling your coat around like Maria dancing on the hillside in the Sound of Music is really uncalled for. Here is my tip....Place your coat over your arm and walk forward into the airport terminal, then step aside, out of the way and put your coat on. Ahhh, now was that so hard?
Finally, (I say finally because it's all I have the energy to write about today, I know there is an entire list of other things...) I'm not sure how I feel over the debate as to whether or not people who are labeled "fat" should have to buy two seats....I don't trust the people who would make the criteria for what is "too fat" to purchase just one seat, BUT, what I do think is that you have your seat, and half the arm rest....I should not have to lean to the left or right for an entire flight because you are making yourself comfortable. This goes for broad shouldered men as well, not just larger people. When I have to lean into the aisle, I run the risk of getting hit by the roughly 30" X24" purse that some lady is carrying over her shoulder, or random sleeves or roller bags. It's a rough place that aisle.
Finally, (I know, I know, I said finally once already, but I just have to give this little shout out) To the gentlemen who sat next to me on my flight on Monday....Why do you have to snort and sniff and make me want to throw up just listening to you? Why did you feel the need to suck every last drop of orange juice off every ice cube in your plastic cup, then proceed to constantly "jiggle" the ice in you PLASTIC cup? All on the first flight of the morning? Oh, and here's another tip.....ESPECIALLY on the first flight of the morning, when most people want to get a little more sleep....DO NOT use the back of the seat in front of you to pull yourself up out of your seat, I know, I know, "you have to use the bathroom....blah, blah, blah" You knew you were getting on a plane...don't drink so much coffee....
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